Denise Austin is trying to hypnotize me.

Oh, it's true. She is.

She's on a new commercial for Idaho Potatoes. (Why, I don't know. Is she from Idaho?) In said commercial, she looks at me with these weird Crazy Lady Eyes that I can't NOT stare at. They look like the eyes of that bad snake in the Jungle Book-- the ones that spin around in circles like this. -> (@@)

Only hers don't spin. Those buggy eyes just stare right at me. I haven't been able to make out the message yet, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time before I start hearing her shrill voice in my head saying "eat some potatoes. From Idaho. Eat some potatoes..." Can you see how scary this is?!!

Now I have not eaten potatoes in over a year (since potatoes don't exist in South Beach), so I am here to say that if I start eating them in the near future, call Maury Povitch and let him know. I'm sure he might have a show in the works called "I Was Hypnotized by Newman on Seinfeld" or something. If not, he'll want to.

I'll take you to the show with me when we tape.

---me (@@)

P.S. New neighbor down the hall is from Idaho. Know how I know? Their license plate says "IDAHO- Famous Potatoes!"

Coincidence? I think not.